08th Nov 2009
Sunday // 11am // 2 years ago
I think im ill AGAIN
I feel terrible right now, I was fine when I woke up but now idk my head is kinda spinning. Its not really but its being weird. I feel soo weak and everyone just thinks im being lazy but I just don’t have enough strength. I have no idea what is wrong with me. My arms are hurting and my eyes are closing and I just want to sleep. Im not even tired but its like my mind is screaming SLEEP MILEY SLEEP. I keep getting really cold, Im alright just now though. I feel hungry but I just don’t have an appetite right now. Im going to just put a smile on and pretend that nothing is wrong and hopefully that will take the pain away. Im sure I will be okay by tomorrow. My fingers have just got sore from typing this!
I know I'm famous, but it still means that I am a walking person. I am in function. I have a face out there, and its the same face you see on TV only it's myself and who I am. I'm doing something while your doing something. Even if I'm resting or just sleeping. I'm out there. I'm not just a toy, that people like to play with. Tell things about me, that they think I can't feel or hear. But I'm not a toy. I don't want to be trashed in the end when it's old and worn out. Im human. Just like all of you. I am my own person. It's like i'm that puppet with strings. The media controls the strings and make me do stuff I'd never would've wanted to do. If you would all just leave me alone at times... Talk about me when I get the Nobel prize. Talk about me when I help out. Talk about me when I have achieved something. Talk about me when I did something good. Talk about me when I'm happy. Talk about me when I'm successful. But don't talk about me when I just broke up with my boyfriend. Don't talk about me when I just got cut of a show Don't talk about me when I am miserable. Don't talk about me when I'm trying on clothes in stores like a normal person. Don't talk about me when my life just went down the toilet. Don't talk about me when I said something that could be misunderstood. How come it's the bold information, they like to talk about? How come they only see the bad side of me? Why is me being hurt and thrashed more juicy than me being happy? If thats ALL you see in me, you should get a life.
